The Battle of the Sexes
by minervathefeline
Summary: Dumbledore returns from the ministry after Voldemort's defeat with some cheering news. How will Minerva react? Her response starts a battle: female vs male. Who will emerge victorious? One-shot, fluffy and humorous.


A short ficlet that is post-DH, definitely AU, as Dumbledore lives. He usually does. Anyway...Enjoy!

**The Battle of the Sexes**

The staffroom fireplace erupted in green flames, and Dumbledore came out, shaking ash off his robes and beaming around at everyone.

'Kingsley has been officially appointed Minister!' he grinned, declaring the tidings from his trip to the Ministry. Everyone immediately started talking at once.

'This is the first step towards fixing things,' Dumbledore said happily, eyes twinkling as his gaze swept the room. 'Hang on, where's Minerva?'

'I do believe I've been insulted,' came Professor McGonagall's voice from behind Dumbledore. 'Not even able to find me, and I'm in the same room!'

Dumbledore turned around and grinned at her. 'My humblest apologies, Professor McGonagall,' he said, eyes sparkling. 'You're shorter than I am, you see, so I tend to lose you more easily.'

Even Ron laughed at this; McGonagall was quite tall, it was simply that Dumbledore was taller than everyone.

'Everyone's shorter than you,' Professor McGonagall retorted, rolling her eyes. 'It's not all of us that are skinny giant freaks.' Dumbledore laughed comfortably.

'Let's have a drink, shall we?' Dumbledore proposed, drawing his wand. 'I believe this merits celebration.'

Ten minutes later saw the occupants of the staffroom drinking Butterbeer and milling about.

'Was it the majority that voted him in?' Mr Weasley asked Dumbledore.

'Oh, yes, I think that they were quite pleased with the idea of Kingsley as Minister,' Dumbledore replied. 'He told me to tell you, Remus, that he plans on setting up Werewolf Departments as quickly as he can.'

Lupin nodded, smiling, and glanced down at Tonks, with whom he was holding hands. 'I'll thank him as soon as I can,' Lupin replied contentedly.

'We won't have to worry any more, Remus,' Tonks said, eyes shining. 'Everything will be fine, we won't have to hide.' Lupin grinned, but before he could reply, someone else did.

'No,' came Professor McGonagall's quiet voice. 'You won't.' There was pause.

Dumbledore set down his Butterbeer and turned to her. His eyes seemed to pierce through her, but she held his gaze unflinchingly.

'Neither will I,' Dumbledore said softly, and he raised his hand and tilted her head up towards him. She rose up on her toes, and then Dumbledore lowered his head and kissed her, right on the mouth.

They broke apart to the complete silence of the whole room. Then Professor McGonagall spoke.

'Bastard!' she said, face solemn but eyes dancing, and then Dumbledore laughed and gathered her up in his arms before kissing her again.

No one knew quite what to do. Finally, the silence was broken by Mrs Weasley, who burst into happy tears.

No longer kissing but with Dumbledore's arm wrapped tightly around her waist, Professor McGonagall blushed scarlet at the looks she was getting. Finally, Dumbledore pulled his lover over to a chair and sat down, and everyone else followed suit.

'We were together years ago, or would have been were it not for-' Dumbledore began, but Minerva interrupted.

'Were it not for someone's chivalrous, selfless, and overall highly annoying determination to protect me,' she said, cocking one eyebrow at Albus, as though daring him to argue.

'You stayed apart to protect her?' Tonks said disbelievingly, exchanging an understanding look with Minerva. 'You sound like Remus.' Lupin blushed, and even Moody grumbled a laugh.

'I understood better than you knew,' Minerva said to Tonks. 'I understand the other side of it,' Mr Weasley interrupted, exchanging a triumphant look with Lupin and Dumbledore.

'So do I!' Ron spoke up suddenly. He turned scarlet, but managed to earn himself a delighted look from Hermione.

'Not so fast, brother of mine,' Ginny said. 'I'm on Professor McGonagall's side.'

'As am I,' Hermione added, grinning at the look on Ron's face.

'Well, I side with Professor Dumbledore and Remus,' Harry decided.

'I'll argue that,' Mrs Weasley said with a Mrs Weasley-ish look. 'Women can take care of themselves.'

'Hear hear!' said Tonks and Ginny enthusiastically.

There was a pause as everyone mentally calculated their numbers.

'We're tied,' Hermione said, to general amusement.

'I'll fix this,' Professor McGonagall said, and she turned to whisper to Dumbledore before kissing him softly.

'We win, don't we, Albus?' she muttered. 'Women can take of themselves.'

Dumbledore's resistance was fast deteriorating, and despite their shock, then men called out.

'Stay strong, Albus,' Lupin said, earning him a punch from Tonks.

Finally, however, Albus gave in to Minerva's persuasion skills, and managed 'You win,' before kissing her back. Tonks cheered and she and the other women laughed happily. Minerva broke off to laugh at the women's celebration.

'Don't think this is over,' Albus growled in her ear. 'It's not over, not by a long shot.'

Professor McGonagall smiled. 'Fine by me,' she replied as she wrapped her arms around Dumbledore's neck. Her only reply was a muffled laugh.

The End **:**D

Et voila! The end of this little one-shot. Review, let me know what you think, constructive criticism, all that good stuff. :P


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